study + working hard to keep myself sane = tired!!!

i juz finished two papers out of 8...feeling??? physically tired and mentally out of control...
with people around me keep stabbing my back and i have to stand tall and appear strong...it wasnt so easy...it juz freakin annoying...so what i do??? i treat myself...new make-up, new clothes, chocolates, jasmine green tea, almond honey and window shopping...alone...but at least no one criticize me and i'm free even thought imma out of money and i'm not sure when i'm gonna get the money again but at least i'm out from those insanity world...
i miss home like crazy and i wish i'm home now...keep telling people how i miss home actually convinced them that i'm a fragile person but i dont really care...i'm just being honest...i'm a family girl...what can i say???

being left alone...

it's not a good title though...but what the hell...no one gonna read this...
well actually imma in a state of WHAT DID I DO WRONG!!???
i hate the feeling when people left me all alone but at the same time they think imma fragile... i gotta say IT"S SUCK!!!
well i guess it started a week ago...and until now i STILL feel that people betray me and i wondering when they'll stop??? my family also left me all alone...i try to talk to them but no one will listen and sometimes to be honest, i feels like i was born with no family around me... sad??? u betcha!
people around me especially my friends keep leave me all alone (what happen to give and take concept??)
i'll be there when they need me and i am friendless when i need them...hell of the world!!!
all i gotta say, thanks for doing this to me...feels great to be hurt with people who u thought was ur friend or ur family...