i cant believe i say this: i kindda like Meg (now)

well lets start with Supernatral ^^~ (coz it's been a whole lot while i havent update about it)

# honestly i kindda like the idea of Magstiel (Meg the demon + Cass the angel)

The Megstiel... little trivia: Cass learned it from
pizza man (HAHAHA)
(pic source from Google)

i think the latest episode -S08E17:Goodbye Stranger probably what Dean called peace on Earth in kinky way few season back (when he dreaming about strippers who dressed like Victoria Secret Angel and Devil - in season 5: The Song Remains The Same episode i think?)

lol okay dont get me wrong, i dont support Dean in the case but i love the fact that the writers love to give the idea that demons and angels love ganking each other butt but still have feeling towards each other (in this case, Meg and Cass of course)

to be honest i dont really like Meg.. she's too complicated in demonic way... but she can be helpful sometimes... and way crazier than Crowley; the king of hell-douche (oppss!)

and how cold Cass become on the "killing-Dean" training is so scared the hell out of me... not to mention breaking my heart....

it's cute when one time they hate each other presence and the next day they keep looking each other's back (not so long tho)

i mean yeah, the story is about to brothers saving the world and taking care of each other, the angel watching over the boys, i think the new perspective is good.... except it shouldnt end so soon...

but i can wait to watch the next episode ^^~
# usually the pattern of this series are after the full of prank episode, there will be quite heavy one... which btw really nice contrast ^^~


okla that's that
papai ^^~

the story with no actual point...

well tadi Ayah kindda insist for me to go to another karnival kerjaya dekat PWTC n kat situ jugak ada karnival pendidikan

well actually it's more for Achik since Ayah dah start cari option for his next education course...

n no surprise there that Ayah want Achik to try for aviation/aircraft engineering after his attempt to force me to do that failed... well bukan saye nak jadi anak derhaka but saye x pernah minat aircraft... naik ok... study about that? i guess memang xde keinginan tu...

n there Ayah is the one who asked alot n everything about the course while me n Achik kindda look like uninterested... Achik love animation/graphic more than aircraft and me? i prefer big ship... that's why i used want to join navy...

maybe i have to courage to climb the mountain
instead of just posing at the foot...

so then Ayah start tanya org tu

"what if Masters in Aircraft Engineering? ada x?" then he look at me with his (i swear it's like) puppy eyes

i just then walked away to karnival kerjaya which btw on the same floor so i will not get involved with his un-fullfilled dream...

there, i kindda browsing around, dropping just 2 resumes coz truth to be told, i kindda tired of dropping resumes everywhere and all the answers i got usually NO

and yes i still want to continue my study but i prefer something more like natural phenomenon observation (non supernatural way) like aurora or mirage

then after that, Ayah who is still excited asked me if i still interested to continue my studies... well he's my daddy after all so he actually knew that i want that... i missed the moment wearing topi kotak (minus terrible allergies on my graduation day) but i still got alot to take care of

n come to think my dad willing to pay for my next level education so he can fullfill his life long dream is really bothers me, i want to make my family happy more than anything but idk if i'm willing to go through where i have another great fall and i know who to blame coz i'm just doing everyone a favor so i'm afraid i might cursing my dad if i fail... that's the last thing i want to do

so then after that i kindda browsing around the net searching for another job since as i mentioned before, i wont stay on this one job forever...

well okayla...
the point is.... as much as i am now typing too many, i dont have much in my mind other than get through another day without trouble...

that's that
papai...

cita2 x kesampaian

well did i mentioned that i just back fro not so called holiday on my previous post?

well actually i intended to talk n share some pics but since my external hard-drive is still at Illy's, so i will hold the stories or what-not to maybe-someday-post

makan time on the last night at KK

but there's a moment at KK (where i'm going with Illy) where we go and eat

i mean Illy is kinda adventurous n willing to try something new person which i am the opposite

since there are many varieties of food there n Illy never been to Sabah, we kinda walking around until suddenly Illy told me about her dream

"Aku harap sangat dapat jadi pengacara Jalan2 Cari Makan. Mesti best kan?"

saye ketawa but i admit i also have the almost same dream n i told her i want to replace Adam Richman in Man VS Food

gila melampau cita2 saye kan? nak ganti tempat beliau HUHUU
pic source:pakcik Gugel

HAHAHA!!!

me n Illy dekat Kinabalu Park (dekat kaki
gunung Kinabalu) credit to Nia for the pic 

so that i dont have to worry how much weight i gain n i still get paid while eating yummy food  ;P

makin besar ketawa kitorang lps tu then kitorg pon makan2 la ^^~

that's that

nyway thanks Illy for melayan kerenah kebudak-budakan saye n force me to face my fear

so now i know that i am afraid of height (T_T)

okay that's that (again)
papai ^^~

kasih ibu bapa

dua hari lepas datang sorang customer bangsa India datang nak tanya pasal internet package

kata uncle tu, dia buta komputer but he want the best for his childrens

bersungguh2 dia tanya n fahamkan n walaupun dia mengaku dia x taw apa2 pasal internet, dia nak anak dia berjaya

i mean, mana ada parents yang nak tengok anak dorg gagal ye x?

so long story short, dia cakap nak sign up package yg paling mahal sbb nak anak dia dapat every best thing he could give as long as he still breathe air

saye pon tanya dia

"uncle anak berapa orang?"

dia cakap anak dia 2 org aje, yg sulung form 5 n yang bongsu form 2

so saye nasihatkan dia utk try package paling rendah dulu coz walaupun saye bukan lagi student n lagi tinggi package yg saye show lagi bagus, saye kesiankan uncle tu

tho according to him money is not his concern, saye cakap dgn dia, kalau untuk belajar n cari maklumat package yg rendah tu is more than enough

walaupun what i'm doing is not suppose to be done but saye x rasa bersalah sangat coz my real nawaitu is want to help him to achieve his dream to see his children to study better

maaf, pada saye internet ni kadang2 macam mana punya secure pun pengawasan parents, teens these days still masih dapat lepas... so i advice him to better safe than sorry

tetiba teringat citer 3 Idiots

salah satu character dia; Farhan is the only child in the family n his parents sacrifice a lot to him

tho memang idea dia is to chase our dream, the way his parents did to make sure he get to study in comfort n everything was somehow make me realize how actually parents only want the best tho somehow they theself cant afford it

n how i look myself on how ayah n ummi sacrifice to make sure i will achieve my dream

THANK YOU UMMI, THANK YOU AYAH

ya ALLAH, ummi dan ayah ku merupakan nyawaku, tanpa mereka aku tiada di dunia... KAU berkatilah mereka dan jagalah mereka seperti mana mereka menjagaku, senagkanlah hati mereka seperti mana mereka sentiasa menyenangkan hatiku....
KAU lindungilah mereka dari segala siksaan dan azab samada di dunia dan akhirat
sesungguhnya tiada lain yang lebih berkuasa melainkan MU...

some time to realize...

i just got back from so-called holiday

well i actually so relief to have this days off after meeting and assisting customers like a month (ik ik it's nothing compared to others who have done my job for years or still doing it but i wish ppl try to see this from my point of view coz obviously it is my freakin blog)

being away quite some times make me realize what i really want and honestly tho i see what i want my feet still chain to the ground

i just hope i will not stand and stare at the road that i want to travel too long

it took some times to realize but i still cant find any courage or way to start my 1st step

i just know that i wont do the same thing i do now in few years or (i really hope) less than a year coz it is hard to wake up every morning and convincing myself it just one day more before i get what i want

i mean, i know i now sound ungrateful but i cant lie anymore... as much as i convinced myself i like what is going on with my life now, i guess both my mind n body just keep seeing it as a mind torturing event... n i keep re-live this event everyday and tho some days it all seem okay but other days i just want to be paralyzed or in a comma so i dont have to wake up

is it bad? well it wasnt so bad actually...

but like i said, i dont really want this

i actually gave myself a chance but turn out i cant even have a nice word to describe what i do

ya ALLAH please show me the way... if i am destined to do what i do now, please give me some kind of sign so i will know

and if i am supposedly do something else, please show me the right path

okla that's that
papai ^^~