Saturday, January 18, 2014

the "how-to-break-Crystal" game

well recently, some people really like to get on my nerve... well not succeeded to tear me up on my sis' wedding, now they start a new nerve war by questioning my educational level... yes yes i know i am not CEO of some world-class zillion dollar assets but by questioning my education level is somehow breaking almost every rule ever existed on the game "how-to-break-Crystal"... wtf

well it all started when someone in my family got a job before he/she graduated with sijil... it's not like i'm perlekehkan that sijil of his/her but... (okay there's no but... i'm just jealous)

so one of them who know exactly well what is my job and my educational background start asking (as he/she dont know) about it... and then goes like

"eh.... gaji sama aje... tapi along ade degree.... ?"

"ummm.... keje macam tu... dengan degree.. pastu xde boyfriend... something wrong somewhere la dengan si along ni..."

wow... some sarcasm... really... that's why someone says words are sharper than any swords.... and that question? really stab me through the heart...

yup... well i know i am single, but i have something i can be proud of too...
i hear he/she keep whining about office politics like every second i see he/she

i mean it doesnt mean we have no "office politics" going on but i guess it just internal
it's quite calm
so i dont have to get home whining about my boss or colleagues and wtf that bugs them is really ridiculous.
i'm happy with my job n family here. so what's the deal? at least i dont have to deal with bulls#!t he/she been whining like everyday.

i know at some point sometimes i myself been whining about my job but i think baby steps people. one small step at a time. that is why people ask for experience. i'm not wise tho i'm a degree holder. i need my life lesson before i can move further. so why dont people give me a break?

and to think about my education level versus career graph is kindda like off the chart, i know i'll be a joke among them. yeah i'm the one who always with thick books and debate everything by books but i guess i learn my lesson by life is not about grades, degree or how thick your books in your shelf. like i said i'm not wise but i'm learning. so again gimme a break

with people keep asking me and sometimes asking my parents make my parents start to press me too...
my mom keep asking me to leave the job i currently doing and start to find a new one.
same goes to my dad. i've been compared to others who got quadruple payoff then my salary without spending waayyyy too long looking for a job heck they only have certificates/SPM.
i dont give a rat ass about how much they get as much as what they do. but when they start using my own parents to break my nerve, i tend to go emotionally upset. mood swings everywhere and sometimes that emotional tend to get worse.

idk what they really want. saying that they only want to see me happy but keep suppressing me passing my breaking point is one hell of a job well done. really? i mean yea i'm happy with my little salary but what is it to others? i dont have that bragging rights with my paycheck so back off.

"buat apa study jauh2 kalau keje macam tu aje"

"bila nak maju dengan gaji banyak tu?"

are some questions that always been asked to me.

idk how to make people see how happy i am here tho my paycheck not as much as i deserve. to be honest i never home on time coz i'm pissed. i stayed tho my work is done. why cant people see that i'm happy? and my friends been jealous on how fun i have and she thought my job worth staying. i think that too...

katanya saye xnak maju. tipu lah... but there's reason for me to stay, if i start a new job, i start again at the bottom. i'm thinking i made my own progress as far as i stay here. my achievements here wasnt that big but it's something and i did that with all my mean something to me

maybe someday my heart will change but until then i really want to stay. people can break me but this place have grow so much in me that i think leaving here is my last option.

that's that
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