Tuesday, November 29, 2011

so predictable me

(kredit to my FB friend for this ... saye dah mintak izin utk copy ye ^^~)

Mengetahui Sifat Anda Melalui Tarikh Mengikut Kajian Tapi Semuanya Adalah Dari Allah swt..

Sifat manusia mengikut tarikh lahir ada 3 ketegori :

A- Jenis kelamkabut,cepat tension,nak cepat,nak segera,kurang sabar,nak cari kesempurnaan dan sentiasa nak cari kehebatan.

B- Jenis rilek,cool,yang tenang,yang mudah tolak ansur,yang lebih kurang dan mudah untuk dibawa berbincang(leceh sikit xpalah,lmbat sikit pun xpalah)

E- Jenis sangat emosional,mudah terasa,mudah melenting,mudah mengamuk,mudah marah dan mudah hiba..

Kategori A - Mungkin bulan 2,4,6,8,9,11,12
Kategori B - Mungkin bulan 1,3,5,6,7,10,12
kategori E - Mungkin bulan 2,3,4,7,8,9

Ini hnyalah kajian yg telah dilakukan.Mungkin ini sedikit-sebanyak dapat membantu dalam memperbaiki kita punya sifat daripa kurang baik kepada baik..Yang sudah baik kepada yang lebih baik..Segala2nya adalah datang dari Allah swt..Anda kategori yang mana??? ... =)


reason from the kajian tarikh lahir n everything above? nothing actually... just perasan x saye lahir bulan 12 so saye termasuk dalam 2 kategori?

1st one is category A: Saying i am kelam kabut (very true), cepat tension (maybe), nak cepat/segera (i always delay something tho sometimes), kurang sabar (in certain things), nak cari kesempurnaan (?) and sentiasa nak cari kehebatan (? i love to compare myself tho never express it.. if that's what it mean)

2nd category is B: that say i am jenis rilek/cool/tenang (which agak contrast dengan yang atas kan?), mudah tolak ansur (true) yang lebih kurang n mudah dibawak berbincang (this one i really dunno)

tapi few days ago few ppl asking me is i have problem or not tho i never ask for counseling from anyone n when i say no they say that it is obvious that i am really need to talk about somthing (well i do have but i dont want to)

well then i talk to anis n told her about how ppl notice me having problems n she said i have a very obvious ppl  can read face when i am kelam kabut, ada problem, tension n yada yada yada....

wow.. now i see too many evidence that make me believe i am predictable... adoi.....

Monday, November 28, 2011

bipolar disorder me...

well actually i have laser midterm tmorrow n 2nd chapter for my thesis to be done but somehow i opened my FB n found that i have 6 pending invitation to my friends wedding (or their siblings) n i was like... demmit... bulan December... not just suppose to be a happy month for school kids, but wedding month for most of my friend and (shocker) my bday too... okay.. and as always... i doubt anyone will remember my bday tho... plus viva week (presentation for our thesis) on my bday so.. happy becoming bday crystal...

tengok invitation kawen ni always make me feel like.. am i'm too old or they just get married too young?? i am 21 for crying out loud yet my friends get married??

tetiba nak buat keje jahat kan?? what if i told my parents i want to get married?? hahaha!! kes mintak kaki....!!



belajar pon x abes lagi ada hati nak kawen... hahaha!! not to mention kena cari calon pulok... hahah!!  nak tunggu Ben alamatnye kena kumpul duit banyak2 la coz nak g sana bukan pakai daun... mamat tu kan takut naik kapal terbang?? ahahaha!!!
Ben: den pon kono jugak??!!

Dean??? ni lagi la sampai ke sudah saye x kawen... he's fictional!! adoyai!!!

Dean: akuuu jugakk yang kena??!!
Me: nasib ko la ^^~ ahaha

btw i love to buy myself ring but i wonder how it felt kalau orang bagi ek?? (limited time only ppl got to hear i say this before i going to puke!! ahaha)

why on earth m talking bout married, calon, mintak kaki wish?? to take a breath a bit actually... almaklum la for some reason i feel like giving up so i think take some (many) time off maybe would help...

well actually it help a little...

off to study back... wish me luck ^^~

this is me when i suppose to feel sorry for myself

okay convo week.. and i am stuck with something i should've done like months ago...  yup... FYP!!
well idk why i've become this lazy (not that i want to) but for some reason i feel so not doing it... a lot of ppl say i've change so much (not in a good form tho) n i have to admit i'm heading to my own self-destruction like in a split second away... n i notice that...

my mom told me my neighbor (she study in UMS too) is graduating n tho her parents always say "along xpe... senang je nak lulus"... i doubt that. i doubt myself n most important, i doubt i can keep my promise n stand tall n will look at my parents face with their proud face (u know... my first-born is graduating look)... i doubt everything n tho i am very much want to blame my environment, everyone (or someone) but i have to admit it was me who turn out weak n m losing my focus... gosh this time i really gonna weeping on the floor

well to be honest i am trying hard to get myself together.. i notice i am not what or who i'm used to be... i used to finished my assignment before the deadline, i used to have like muses living inside of me, i used to worked under almost 2012 tragedy in a minutes away but still can make it, i'm used to work under very hard pressure tho i am like super sick and most importantly i still can maintain everything in order... i still have my self control...  but that was like Han's Emperor time story... now? i lost myself like big time

idk why i keep doing this tho actually i realize i am almost (i mean it) fail myself... not that loser is my ultimate ambition tho but (here come the embarrassing part) i have no strength... i lost my will and damn right i couldnt find it...  to make a new self-will is like gonna take whollata-time.. it takes 21 years to build them  and less than 21 second to burn them all down... well i know how major destruction works... i'm onto that research now so yea i can relate...

if i can compare my life with others, i think maybe i am no match for anybody... i build everything everything with my on hands... my parents just a catalyst that accelerate me n i done almost everything without cheating (i'd lie if i say never but slightly yea) n i done it by my own... funny story actually, few days ago after Political class i went to cafe. find an empty spot, place my bags, go buy some food n sit there back. all by myself (i retake the paper so no one in my batch going to the class) and one of the juniors at the political class came and sit at the table... and she said "i dont want to make u look like a friendless loser" n i was like... if i wait for my friend i cant satisfy my hunger dear... so i rather look like friendless loser rather than being hungry coz that feeling cannot be shared with other... but to think about that most of my time when i am strong as me is when i am all by myself... not that i say my friends weaken me but (duh this is pathetic but i'm sorry my friend) i am better off without anybody... but hey i am not living at antartika or possibly purgatory so i cannot  be selfish to create a world of only me... yea i know that in fact my last 21 years old also surrounded by people that shape me as me so SHIT idk what went wrong!!

i hope i can make everything in time... i hope i can be me again... i hope i can grab everything back while it's not too late... i hope i can lift all this rocks off of my shoulder n move on to a better place... ya ALLAH i need ur guidance here...

Saturday, November 12, 2011

patience please come to meee........

to be honest i dont have much idea on what actually what i want to write but there's an incident (twice- two night in a row) happened that i swear if it happen for a third time i might lose every patience i have in every bones....

so we start with day 1st, i was out with adik Izzati to buy some groceries and before that i went to ATM to withdraw some money... then i started to drive and at the junction, a car just started to race me and when he out from the junction, few cars honk at him (a long beeeeppppppp tho) and that driver almost hit my car n i was like WTF??? but honking not really my thing so i let go... from there i drove to the gas station to get some fuel and the guy park his car next to mine and he looked at me with anger n owh this is (more like) our conversation goes

"awk taw x ape awak buat tadi? u just almost got me killed!"
"excuse me?"
"dah taw pakai kancil tu buat la cara pakai kancil... awak ingat keta saya ni ape?"
"now let me make myself clear... u have amnesia or u just that plain stupid? coz awak yang potong saya kat simpang tu n keta lain yang hon awak" btw he just driving this Proton Saga 
"that would never happen kalau awak x bawak macam siput"
"i stopped at the junction mister... there's a dozens of cars and no traffic light... kalau saya x stop saya la yang kena langgar... ada paham??!"
"dah la x cantik kurang ajar lagi"
"right back at u... owh plain stupid too"

and then i just go to pay the gas n fill my car... he was like having this "i-will-kill-her-in-the-next-meeting" look and i was like "the-next-time-u-do-that-i-will-start-throwing-punches"

so on day 2, which mean the day after, i went to buy some aerosol and his car blocking my car. i wait there tho i feel like i suppose to just hit that jerk's car (i dont even remember the owner or the car) and when he came out he look at me n we have another scene (yea  i think i really make a scene there)

"awak lagi!! kenapa? x puas hati?"
(at  this moment i do admit i'm the one who have amnesia) "huh?"
"kenapa awak tengok saya x puas hati? bukannya saya cium keta awak pon semalam... salah sendiri tapi salahkan orang lain... macam ni lah perempuan xde budi bahasa"
(then saya start ingat) "excuse me!! who the hell u think u are? awk yang block kereta saya boleh2 awak tanya kenapa saya x puas hati?"
"serve u right coz awk memang saangat rude smalam... let me guess... looking for comfort food coz ur boyfriend leave u? ataupun have u ever have one?"
"look sir, i dont judge ppl but u sure stupid coz i think u talking to a freakin mirror but not me! i dint even raise my voice n not saying anything... what are u? woman? too sensitive bro!"
"kalau x nak kereta orang block kereta awk, bawak la moto bodoh!"
"why dont u?"
"bawak moto... then u dont have to face my rudeness"
"saya punya suka la nak bawak kuda pon...lemme guess... awak x boleh bawak moto coz moto tu x leh tampung awak ek?"
"wow, u really an idiot...1st... the place u park ur freakin scrap isnt a parking zone... ape awak pakai lesen A ke? 2nd, u think moto tu dari ape? buluh? if moto tu body dia x solid then no deaths reported kalau org kena langgar dengan moto and 3rd u acting like a freakin spoiled little girl u got that?"
"lesen A?"
"lesen Agong... sesuka je la awk nak letak moto tu kat mana"
"dah la x cantik... gemuk... serve u right la xde boyfrien"
"how would u know?"
"coz guys are not blind... u dont have good heart... good manners... good body... good face... untuk kebaikan umat manusia saya harap awak jangan keluar rumah lagi.."
"and i bet the longest relationship u have is less than 2 months... coz u dont have good heart, good body, good job, good sense of humor let alone manner... owh btw awk xde la hensem sangat pon... "
"kurang ajar!"
"yes i am... now move ur junk!"
i bet this is how his girl feel LOL
"saya xkan move my car... no matter what..."
"news flash dude... u blocking the traffic too.. move ur damn car before they give ur sorry ass saman parking.."

so he moved his car but then he race me again at the junction causing other car honking at him and my car almost kiss his ass...

dude.. where u get ur licence?? grrr....

owh.. sesuka hati je call me ugly n everything... i cant say much just i feel sorry for ur girlfriend (if u have one)....

that's that... papai...

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

all about love ^^~♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

well i just feel like sharing this touching pic.... i can relate somehow...

the love is so pure... i swear i almost cry... the look at Kuya's brother face actually touch me most... i'm not gonna lie... it really remind me how much it feel when adik Izzati hug me... honestly when she hug me.. i felt every peace in the world... like every pure love in the world u can ever get.... somehow i started to feel i dont even give a damn if i would never married in the future coz i have this little angel that need my arms to hug her and comfort her... yea she get everyone love but somehow i feel that every responsibility to put her need first before mine...

ALONG SAYANG ADIK ^^~ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Monday, November 7, 2011

me on my growing up side (>_<)

well for the 1st time saye rase sangat perlu make sure all my siblings need to stay together no matter what... so when i get off from the plane... btw thanks to Ayah Chik n Cik Dah for understand me... well to be honest, i flew from sabah with absolutely NOTHING (i really mean it.. no clothes, books but my lappy n few assignments) but only a thoughts that i want to be with ALL of my siblings n that's that...

so after i arrived n waiting for my luggage, i turned on my phone n i saw like 23 missed calls n few messages from angah... so first thing i do next is calling atin n she told me they already at Port Dickson with aiman, aimin, anis n adik izzati... angah n achik were still at home... n my 1st thought then is to make sure all of us MUST stay together...

so i told Ayah Chik to send me back to Seremban n then when i get there i went to sleep 1st (all night Charmed marathon with AJ coz afraid i will oversleep) then after i woke up, i told angah n achik to packed their stuffs coz i will drive to Port Dickson n all of  us will gather together as what umi n ayah asked....
umi n ayah masa nak berangkat ke Tanah Suci (credit to
angah for the pic)

well i arrived at rumah nenek around 12 am n to tell the truth... i am so relief to see all my siblings were there even the Eidul Adha is supposed to celebrate in the morning...

so in the morning, i woke up early, drove to the mosque for sunat eidul adha prayer, and have a breakfast together with everybody... an i swear that i am so relief like the weight of the world just have been lift off my shoulder and i thank ALLAH for allowing me to do what my parents asked me

tho too many things try to make me losing my patience today, i'm glad i can keep myself calm and hold myself together....



that's all guys... papai ^^~

Friday, November 4, 2011

bercanda di pantai!!! (haha ayat skema!!!)

okay nak wat post riak dulu


so okay... skunk back to the story...

alkesahnye sebelum pulang ke tanah air (macam dok jauh je kan??) saye ingat nak g bayar sewa moto minum TeaBox green tea dlu sblom saye balik semenanjung...

so pas bayar... (actually sblom tu sy kena jumpa Dr Lai regarding my Political paper but then i got few problem so i didnt go) AJ ajak saye g pantai memandangkan saye merupakan "hantu air" so kami g pantai Likas (walopun duduk dekat, sy x pernah g jejak pantai Likas) n then sesi amek gambar... klu ngan manusia len haram la sy nak kuakan phone n amek gamba tp minah ni suke beno amek gambar... haha!!

enough said, jus see the pic ^^~

so that's that...
thanks AJ coz bawak saye g main pantai walopun x dpt mandi coz air kotor.... huhu
n Seremban... wait 4 me kay!!!
papai ^^~

magic??? kindda... witchy maybe??? idk the exact title but feel free to make it up urself

okay... this should be quick...

the married witches (Don & Maggie Stark)
well saye skunk tengah layan Charmed... well this is one of the oldies (not really old la) series that i'm into n somehow my lalink never watched it so then her friend gave her like the whole 6 or 7 seasons full... huhuhu and tho since i watched Supernatural.. i think kindda weird to like witches especially how Dean hate them... haha n then i watched season 7 episode 5 (Shut Up, Dr Phil) where there's about a couple of witches who is married to each other and have problem... they kept getting at each other sing their power and somehow i find that very funny....
and the funny part?? the brothers have to become the witches marriage counselor so that they dont taking their wrath on each other and (typical) hurt others too (that's y it become a case to Winchester brothers no?)

and yeah... one hell of the funny episode (tho i start to say i'm not gonna like it since Cass is dead now) coz they become like season 1 again... not to serious but still we know there's an issue with the brothers... owh and i cant pick which of my fav line so here is few:
“Literally kill off everything around her just by PMSing at it. Yeesh, that’s not creepy at all.” -Dean
Bewitched just got a lot less funny”-  Sam
“I’ve had 800 years of this. Do not make me bring up the Renaissance.”-Maggie (the female witch)

well speaking of Charmed, for those who didnt watched or never know bout them, it's about Helliwell sisters (Prue, Piper, Pheobe and later after season 3, Paige) who from normal-living carrier white picket fence woman to super powerful line of good witches and each of them have their own special power...

well i love this series like very much especially it goes to show how strong a woman can be (owh yeah in this case having magic) but in the same time they can balance their carrier with saving the innocent job from evil and have a family and the sisterly bond really is one of my fav part... ^^~

and as for Supernatural, i already watch episode 6 (season 7 of coz)  lol ^^~

so that's that... papai ^^~

my top 5 fav bands all the time

well when i went to do a group discussion at the library, somehow one of  my group member came to me and said
         "kami cuba cakap dengan akak tapi akak tak dengar ke? lagu apa akak dengar tu?" 
owh btw i'm putting my headphone n listening to my music playlist ^^~

so after apologizing, he came to me n start opened my music folder and goes like
         "OMG!! never heard any of these song or know who sang it!!"

and i was like =_='..... that's fine... i get that all the time

so i was starting to feel like okay....~~~ i might have a VERY rare taste of music (tho i heard some in the radio)  or very SUPER DUPER rare taste on vocals  or bands

so this is my top 5 fav band that their songs always in my playlist

1. Breaking Benjamin
 well  what's new here? kindda like the whole wide world know how much i LOVE this band and the vocalist of course (blushing!! LOL) 
well short history bout this band, BB was formed in 1998 by Benjamin Burnley and Jeremy Hmmel (fomer drummer) in their home state, Pennsylvania, US... and fun fact; Breaking Benjamin got their name from one of the incident when Ben who covering his fav band (Nirvana) song  in a open mic in a club. He kicked the microphone stand over, breaking it n the club owner came on stand and said "I'd like to thank Benjamin for breaking my fucking microphone"... so that's where Breaking Benjamin's name came from
they actually changed their name to Flight 9 for a short time in 2001 and after a various line-up changes, they changed their name back to Breaking Benjamin..
well now the band just consist of 2 member, Ben himself and the drummer, Chad Szeliga after Ben fired their former lead guitaist n base guitarist after they re-release the "Blow Me Away" (u know the one which pissed me off like crazy in my late-late previous entry) and the new (kindda like their greatest hits n few unreleased song) album
why i LOVE BB?? did i mention i have crush on Ben Burnley??? huaaaahahaha!! nope that is not the only reason... i love them coz i love the way they play.. how charming and very deep their songs are and of course they are like very good... more than others just no one (i mean not many) realize that they produce one hell of the album ^^!
owh yea... i think i mention my fav songs right?? yup.. plural... kindda hard to choose... i know their songs and lyrics more than i remember my own phone number... LOL ^^~

2. 3 Doors Down
i LOVE 3 Doors Down like before i know BB... the 1st song i heard is "Here Without You" and yea it is one hell of the famous song ever... i mean who hate that kind of song?? but my all time favorite is "Landing in London (All I Think Is You)"... i love how it sound and gosh.. i love the MV even more... n did i mention i love Brad Arnold's vocal?? yup... he have one hell of the best vocal ^^~
well just a short history... the 3DD was originally from Mississippi, US and their 1st #1 requested songs on the stations over 15 weeks...
Brad Arnold eventually ended up acting as the group's singer coz, as he puts it "nobody else would do it, but i did n enjoyed it a lot"... well like Ben Burnley, Arnold is also 3DD's lyricist and (this one i like) wrote som of their early greatest hits when he was 15 and always working on the songs during te math class (well i did most of my drawing not in the art class too tho ^^~ HAHA)
well now they just released their 5th album called "Time Of My Life" and yes i love most of the songs in the album especially the one called "She Is Love"... 

3. Daughtry
okay this band is kindda like (at 1st i thought) just one-man band that formed by former American Idol 5 2006 finalist, Christ Daughtry (now see what i mean??). but then after meeting pakcik gugel, he told me that Daughtry is actually an American rock band from North Carolina which form by Chris Daughtry himself ^^~
well who says rock doesnt rule the chart? actually their1st  album was the fastest-selling debut album in SoundScan (kindda like a method of tracking the selling record in music i guess??) history and yea i think most ppl know what is their very first debut that like (i am personally love them until now) made ppl love them... yup called "It's Not Over" which actually one of my fav songs when i do karaoke (tho actually my all time fav karaoke song is by "All The Right Moves" by One Republic)
but why in the hell on the 1st place i love them? i mean why not? tho they is a rock band (supposedly menyakitkan telinga), but they actually have one hell of ear friendly songs and i must say tho most ppl ear friendly music type is not my type, i do love this one... enough said !! ^^~
owh actually my all time fav for Daughtry is "On The Inside" which is (of course n idk why) non-paying song in radio station here.
and i cant wait for their next album tho got few sneak peek (i mean i listen to one of the songs in the album called "Crawling Back To You" n i like ^^~) but hey... kindda watchin Supernatural sneak peak n i'm dying to know the rest of the episode

4. Maroon 5
hmm lets see... this is one of my fav band like ages hell Maroon 5 (Songs About Jane n It Wont Be Soon Before Long)  is the 1st CD i bought... 
the 1st song i listen to (kindda funny story actually) is called "Harder To Breathe" but i heard that on a commercial break. Well the song was inserted in the cartoon called "Samurai Jack" for the background song for the TV advertisement and i was like "okay.. i am so in LOVE with the song!!!" and my achik goes like "Whoa along... that's some weird song but i love the cartoon" hahaha!!
Well the band from LA and consist of 5 members, Adam (owh he so hott!!) Lavine, James Valentine, Jesse Carmichael, Michael Madden and Matt Flynn... well the original band's name is Kara's Flower n the reason the changed the name to Maroon 5 is idk... yup i'm serious... even uncle gugel dunno huhuhu
reason i love them? idk i think they sound a bit different (i dont mean the lyrics okay!!) but somehow i love the rarity in Adam's vocal... like he dont try too hard yet he dont take it all to easy (ecehh!!) 
my fav songs? kindda tie too... i love "Sweetest Goodbye", "Tangled", "She Will Be Love"and owh yess... "Harder to Breathe" for their 1st album and "Goodnight Goodnight", "Makes Me Wonder", "Wont Go Home Without You", "Better That We Break" and of course "Wake Up Call"
but i take like few moments to love their current album but sure i love "Give A Little More" and (sometimes this is one of my fav karaoke songs) "Misery" and did i mention i love his collaboration with Christina Aguilera in "Moves Like Jagger"? and yea.. i love when Adam sing at The Voice especially "Crazy" with 3 other sifus hehe ^^~

5. Nickelback
well this band is from Canada n this hard rock and alternative band consist of 4 with Chad Kroeger as the one hell of the vocalist huhuhu ^^~
well i heard them for the 1st time when my classmate paste their lyrics ("Someday") on his table n when i asked him about the songs he kindda goes like..."ko ape taw... pompuan just dengar lagu bebudak Akedemi Fantasia je!" and i was like "bukan aku ek!! cakap la!!" so he told me that this is one of the best band on earth.. end of story...
so i took a peek at the song and i was like.."okay not bad" but then came "Far Away" "If Everyone Cared", (and i love this song n MV so much) "Savin Me" and more and i was like... "this is great!!"
n then came "Gotta Be Sombody" n "If Today Was Your Last Day" and i officially put this band as one of my fav band alongside BB, 3DD, Daughtry and Maroon 5...
owh Chad is like one of the best vocalist too... he collaborate with one of i-love-to-sing-and-dance-along "Into The Night" with Santana.... 

well i guess that's that... 
well u guys can see.. my fav bands is not from unknown ppl so just un-too-much-been-exposed band...
i bet u know at least 3 outta 5 from my fav bands here imma rite???
btw this is my friggin blog so i can rate them and crown whoever i like <------ pesanan to the haters
so before AJ start to gone "mak nenek" on me i think that's that for now... papai ^^~

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