tengah melepak2 sambil carik idea utk esaiment electroacoustic tetiba saye terdengar rumate saye punya telefon berbunyi n bila beliau angkat aje terus suara beliau ceria...
lama gak beliau berborak (owh btw her mom yang call) siap gelak2 lagi...
then i realize jarang or maybe menda ni x pernah jadi kat saya - which is my mom call and tanya khabar n gelak2... i mean i hear my mom's n dad's voice like everyday but i am the one who made the call sampai satu tahap syaitans berbisik "u're not that important as u think u are"
ggggrrrr nyahhh ko setan!!! jangan nak memandai...
actually to be honest my heart n my mind kept having this debate until now... the debate about why am i always the one who make the phone call n say hi tho i am too living in the busy life?
kalau masa saya hidup zaman kat TTJ dulu faham la jugak... saye pakai public phone... sekarang saya pakai handphone... =_='
ikut kan hati memang jujur saya kecik ati kadang2... i mean i cant read people's mind so idk what's on my family's mind. Are they wonder how am i doing.. the only phone call i get is to remind me something. Other than that i am the one who make the phone call and i do most of the talking. No one even ask how am i doing...
not that i really need that coz obviously me, myself know the answer but deep down i just want to feel i have someone who care... at the end i ended up saying they too tired with chores at home. hell i am not too busy coz all i need to worry about is FYP, good grades, midterm, finals, assignments, bla.. bla.. and that's that... see? nothing much and yea i'm always fine... np!
penat nak faham orang...
please bear in mind yang saya bukan manusia yang x taw bersyukur sebab parents saya masih bernafas atas bumi ALLAH ni tapi at some point i just want to know.......... (seriously i cant find words for this sentence)
ye, saya anak sulung, and that's my job to asking and take care of my family but sometimes i grow too tired with this.. the unappreciated feeling... hard to understand why i have to do all this tho i know i dont have to. I can just bail and ignore them but i just cant... i love them too much but somehow i need to know are they feeling the same?
mungkin dorng x nk tunjukkan sangat... dont want to spoil me with that but hey, give me credit here! i do need some treat as well! and the only thing i as is a phone call asking me how am i doing and all the normal questions like all my friends get when their parents call them. is that too much to ask really?
and saya mengaku saya sangat ego untuk memintak something macam ni especially dekat parents saye... nope... this heart to heart thing is not my thing... so agak susah saye nak buat....
ya ALLAH please help me..
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