Tuesday, February 5, 2013

be careful of what u not wish for..

well i am not human behavior observer tho i am surrounded by humans... senang cakap i am really born into the society and raised in many societies but i guess i'm proud to say i am not easily got influenced by them..

from the beginning i always so sure with all i want to be, have aim and tho most of the time i always on the right track, i always get back on one... at least..

one of my drawings ^^~ (dikala bosan di kelas BI)
lately, i feel like i am very lost and realize i might get into the wrong train (now i am really poetic person kan? kan?).. i mean when i was little, art is always my passion (who would have thought right?) especially i am always love to draw, making myself creative n challenge myself to express new perspective so that when i decided to become a writer... but when it comes after PMR, since being not so smart looking is not an option, literature course is not an option. At 1st i was placed at pure science stream class but since idk physics better back then, i think my life would be over n since society always standardize art student as no vision n future (it's not really my opinion) and when i look at the other option, i decided to go to technical school to learn engineering drawing to become an architect coz it's one smart looking way to express creativity n my idea... i know i might have narrow view before but i consider myself as a field rat than a lab mouse so that's how that goes...

then time pass by, n i still want to be an architect but i guess i might slipped from my own rail leaving me with physics. weird right? so, then i get to know physics, doing research and everything, i think physics is another creative thinking path (in a nerd way according to my brother) n i decided to continue playing with the physics idea using my own method to discover gigantic thingy like the mystery behind the sound of aurora or become the next Stephen Hawking.

but then the fact remains i have my own goal, but i dont strive hard for it.... i made an option coz it's not the 1st time anymore so it's really never considered as a mistake...

after graduate, i still want to be a field mouse, working outside the office n not really tied by the formal attire rule but then again, i stranded in the island of the opposite..  not that i say my job is frustrating but the fact remains that i dont really enjoy being caged...

i know i should be grateful, at least i have a job but i guess when ppl said graduan terlalu memilih, i guess i am one of them... n as ummi said alah bisa tegal biasa so i try to do my best... yela, kan ke itu amanah untuk saye?

tetiba emo pulak kan?

that's that
papai! ^^!

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